The Injured Unsophisticated Englishman
“Can’t even get a little Scotch whisky ‘ere. I went into a place just below ‘ere, and, because I very naturally mistook the landlord for the waiter, I was insulted. ‘Ow should I know ?’ said the injured unsophisticated Englishman. ‘I saw a man standing there with a hapron on, and says I, Waiter, bring me some Scotch whisky and ‘ot water, and he swelled up and said, ‘I’m not the waiter; I’ll ‘ave you to know I’m not the waiter; I’m the landlord! . . . I’ll not be called a waiter in my own ‘ouse.’ So I told him to go to the devil and left the room.” Scribner’s Monthly, 1877.