The Bottle Performed A Castanet Solo

by Gaz Regan · Sunday, February 10th, 2013 · Quotes

“He shuffled up to the bar with a very uncertain step and fixed a glassy eye on the bartender.

‘Say, podner,’ he said, in a voice so husky that it sounded like a whisper, ‘say, podner, I’m dead broke and I’ve got a tirst on me that makes me troat feel like a giraffe. Can I stand you up for a drink?’

The bartender looked him over and for once made an exception to his general rule.

‘What’ll you have?’

‘Whisky’ gasped the hero.

A glass and bottle were set before him, and as he poured out the fluid the bottle performed a castanet solo on the edge of the glass. Then he was seized with a fit of coughing. The bartender took another bottle and squirted some dark-brown fluid into the glass of whisky.

‘Wot’s that, podner?’ asked our friend, lifting the glass from the bar and looking at it critically but fondly.

‘That? Why, that’s bitters. Give you an appetite.’

‘Wha-a-at?’

‘Bitters. Good thing for your stomach. Give you an appetite.’

He set the glass down on the bar without tasting its contents and pushed it toward the bartender. Then he turned away, and as he passed through the door he turned and gave the bartender a reproachful look, but spoke no word.— St. Louis Life”  Life, 1890.

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